The Wisdom Letter #402
3 quotes from Martin Luther King Jr. and others.
Quote № 01:
“Somewhere somebody must have some sense. Men must see that force begets force, hate begets hate, toughness begets toughness. And it is all a descending spiral, ultimately ending in destruction for all and everybody. Somebody must have sense enough and morality enough to cut off the chain of hate and the chain of evil in the universe. And you do that by love.”
— Martin Luther King Jr. (1929–1968), “Loving Your Enemies”
~ Follow-up Question:
What internal transformation must occur within a person to choose love over vengeance in the face of profound suffering?
Quote № 02:
“Genius, in truth, means little more than the faculty of perceiving in an unhabitual way.”
— William James (1842–1910), “The Principles of Psychology”
~ Follow-up Question:
Does the value of original thought depend on its recognition by others, or is it inherent to the act itself?
Quote № 03:
“If you would have your son to walk honourably through the world, you must not attempt to clear the stones from his path, but teach him to walk firmly over them — not insist upon leading him by the hand, but let him learn to go alone.”
— Anne Brontë (1820–1849), “The Tenant of Wildfell Hall”
~ Follow-up Question:
How does the tension between love and letting go manifest in the process of nurturing autonomy in others?
Thanks for reading!
Stay curious.
Maze Heart, the curator of Philosophors.
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No. 3. While our society is learning that our main goal as parents is to help our children learn to become independent, loving adults, are we similarly affirmed when the child dies when he/she first enters the world in an adult way? While my 19 year old son was touring with his band in Alabama, he was killed by an impaired driver who ran into the back of their van on a freeway. A couple months later, a stranger yelled at me “Why did you let him go?”. The people who knew him and me didn’t ask me that question because they knew the answer.
When I went into high schools later to talk about Adolescent Grief,as a guest speaker, a question I’d ask the kids to consider was “How are you going make sure that when you die, you’re doing what you love best of all?” I explain that part of my son’s legacy was that his Death Certificate listed his occupation as ‘Musician’. Some say this is very maudlin. I say it fit perfectly with his one and only aspiration! He lived a music-filled, fun-loving, hopeful teen life. He had no enemies, he loved & helped his friends and he felt deeply and sincerely when anyone near him was hurt. Was I wrong to “let him go”?
We must be careful how we judge others.
№ 01: The transformation does not precede the choice of love over vengeance. Internal transformation begins once the choice of love or vengeance is made.
№ 02: If the value of thought was only ever granted by the recognition of others, geniuses would cease to exist over a long enough timeline. Geniuses aren't always accepted in their time; some of them even punished. I think of Galileo and how he was imprisoned for his (correct) heliocentric model. Geniuses recognize what we all know deep down; thoughts are inherently valuable, regardless of how others accept them.
№ 03: If we frame letting go as a part of the dynamics of love, the tension ceases, or at least lightens. The tension is only when people fail to recognize the loving spirit behind nurturing autonomy, thinking instead that there's malice behind it. I experience this frequently when I think of my little children. I can't wait for them to grow up, to be autonomous, independent, adult men. But, at the same time, I miss their days of infancy, utterly dependent on me and close with me. It's a paradox, but I must accept it and cherish how it exists because of how deeply I love them.