This is why Dostoevsky was such a genius, because he illustrates these contradictions as innate in humanity. We all struggle with these truths and betrayals, hopes and fears to greater or lesser degrees. What is the self to betray in the first place? Is the self set in place or ever changing? Do values change over time or remain touchstones, or both? These are moral and existential questions. When you read his books they are psychologically complex yet underscore eternal values to weigh as in a moral fable.
"Why do humans find it so challenging to speak the truth, even when honesty is widely considered virtuous? Is the difficulty rooted in fear of confrontation, a lack of self-awareness, or societal expectations, and how do these factors interact?" Because generally we are brought up to be polite, rather than truthful.
YES!!! AND WE ARE ALSO BROUGHT UP TO LIE. WE GET BOMBARDED BY OTHERS: OUR FAMILY, OUR FRIENDS, OUR SCHOOL TEACHERS. THEY ALL HAVE DIFFERENT VIEWPOINTS. WHO DO I AGREE WITH??? IN OUR EARLY YEARS, WE TRY THIS AND THAT, WHERE THERE IS RARELY ANY HONESTY.
HOW DOES ONE BECOME TRUTHFUL???
THE TRUTH IS WITHIN US ALL. IT TAKES SOME SORT OF A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY
TO LEARN HOW TO GO WITHIN -- WHERE THE TRUTH IS.
THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUTH, AND THAT IS LOVE, WHERE THERE ARE NEVER LIES. LOVE IS ALWAYS HONEST!!! 😊🙏❤️☮️
Yes, and the problem with being brought up to be polite rather than truthful is that we don't know who we are. We get the formative years to practise 'politeness' through childhood and adolescence - and then suddenly we are thrust into the adult world, where, even if we wanted to speak our truth, we have no learning track-record to know what it is, or who we are. We are not brought up to have agency; only to follow social expectations.
I agree; if we had been brought up to speak 'truth', then doing so would be less fearful to us because culturally it would not be seen as 'confrontational' but merely the way one normally communicates in that culture. As a Brit, I find Dutch people speak much more 'directly' (truthfully, to the point) which sometimes takes me by surprise - but I also find it refreshing and one can deal with things much more efficiently.
Regarding loving the truth enough to defend it, this relates to how much one is convinced one knows the truth - I tend to keep an open mind and see others' points of view. I guess I am viewed as rather wishy-washy. But I do have certain limits (personal truths, boundaries) which I have had to defend in the past, no matter what the cost - and would do so again.
I agree that one can debate opinions - and there's not much point in doing so - so one might as well be pragmatic and try and make the world a better place. That's what we try to do here with food-growing, and a new initiative for a community café where surplus produce can be exchanged or sold or given away - trying to promote the circular economy. I suppose I am saying 'actions speak louder than words'.
I'm too small and stupid to know the answers. Instead, I float as a death leaf in the storm, fighting not to drown, aware of the climate, the planet I lived. It doesn't matter anyway, I am already dead, since they ripped me from my tree when I was born, my existence han already ended. Who cares anymore what I do? Who can judge me for my fight to prolong this agony? There is no cowardice in trying to float, nor in letting youself drown.
With respect to questions two and three. My comment is about the interplay between the significance and importance of both. Considering #3, the question is not trivial . Taking or not taking a requisite affirmative action can be fatal. It is critically important to consider a delay is wise or merely giving in to cowardice. Experience, wisdom, and accurate assessment of the required and available resources are necessary to achieve a favorable outcome. It is in the assessment that truth is required and cowardice may conveniently enter the picture. By the way, the assessment phase is where recklessness may be a convenient option. Only truth or “dumb luck” can lead to success. However, past experience either too rosy or dark may lead to a fatal assessment. Intuition may thus fail. There are few absolute knowns, especially at critical moments. Continual reflection and reassessment of the interplay of these two questions is the answer that comes to mind.
I think that distrust of others is a big factor in refraining from telling the truth. Also, fear of being judged or ostracized, of hurting someone's feelings, of creating conflict.
Generally, I speak truthfully, but I rarely share all of my thoughts.
Q1. Self betrayal is working against my conviction, losing purpose. I don’t believe in a greater good that justifies any means. For nothing is a pleonasm actually
Q2. What is truth? As a Christian, what Jesus said is true. But for many others, He was a lie. So am I God to speak the truth? Would it be received as such? These are more essential than fear, being honest, etc.
Q3. I don’t know what I don’t know. I lie without knowing it. I tell the truth that people don’t care or don’t want to hear. So cowardice is not a main concern but lack of wisdom
Q.2 Why do humans find it so challenging to speak the truth? Is the difficulty rooted in fear of confrontation, a lack of self-awareness, or societal expectations, and how do these factors interact?
I suggest, the difficulty of speaking the truth is rooted in all three of the above, and more. However, it is the way these factors are related and interact that makes speaking the truth, challenging. Underneath whatever difficulty, there is a common denominator ie. fear. Fear for self, of self-exposure, actual danger, vulnerability, personal shame, embarrassment, fear for another etc etc.
Knowing oneself, discerning personal truth, owning one’s fears, overcoming fears for self as they arise, is the underlying challenge to confidence; speaking the truth.
I have read Crime and Punishment just last year in fact. One of my all time favourite novels
1)
the quite implies that it's possible to destroy yourself and betray yourself for SOMETHING and so it may seem possible to do this for a good cause but I don't think this is the point. to betray yourself is to betray your values, morals, ethics etc. It is to walk a different talk. You can always feel that. always. the hardest part is listening to it and changing direction or course. temptation to do otherwise is alluring. but you won't be at peace with yourself
2)
Because the truth hurts. it's also a judge. honesty is virtuous, but you must be able to be honest in a gentle way. unless of course you are dealing with someone who is abrupt themselves. and ultimately honesty is a reflection of the truth. or at least "a truth".
3)
both I think
I think our hesitation is measured by both. It's a balancing act, a weighing up, a measurement. It takes time to patter that out in life. through trial and error you will find yourself choosing one of the two... eventually you grow and you end up hesitating at different junctures and going forward with the truth at others.
I think if there are repercussions for others in telling truth is something to be measured and cautious with. if there are repercussions for yourself then it's a moral question for yourself. stagnation will only come about when you choose nothing
The hardest thing, to be honest and truthful is just because in extremis it’s excruciatingly painful, but I for one feel purged afterwards. Flattery when it comes forth tastes of bile. On the receiving end it’s just sad and disappointing. Despite the dopamine hit.
This is why Dostoevsky was such a genius, because he illustrates these contradictions as innate in humanity. We all struggle with these truths and betrayals, hopes and fears to greater or lesser degrees. What is the self to betray in the first place? Is the self set in place or ever changing? Do values change over time or remain touchstones, or both? These are moral and existential questions. When you read his books they are psychologically complex yet underscore eternal values to weigh as in a moral fable.
"Why do humans find it so challenging to speak the truth, even when honesty is widely considered virtuous? Is the difficulty rooted in fear of confrontation, a lack of self-awareness, or societal expectations, and how do these factors interact?" Because generally we are brought up to be polite, rather than truthful.
YES!!! AND WE ARE ALSO BROUGHT UP TO LIE. WE GET BOMBARDED BY OTHERS: OUR FAMILY, OUR FRIENDS, OUR SCHOOL TEACHERS. THEY ALL HAVE DIFFERENT VIEWPOINTS. WHO DO I AGREE WITH??? IN OUR EARLY YEARS, WE TRY THIS AND THAT, WHERE THERE IS RARELY ANY HONESTY.
HOW DOES ONE BECOME TRUTHFUL???
THE TRUTH IS WITHIN US ALL. IT TAKES SOME SORT OF A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY
TO LEARN HOW TO GO WITHIN -- WHERE THE TRUTH IS.
THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUTH, AND THAT IS LOVE, WHERE THERE ARE NEVER LIES. LOVE IS ALWAYS HONEST!!! 😊🙏❤️☮️
Yes, and the problem with being brought up to be polite rather than truthful is that we don't know who we are. We get the formative years to practise 'politeness' through childhood and adolescence - and then suddenly we are thrust into the adult world, where, even if we wanted to speak our truth, we have no learning track-record to know what it is, or who we are. We are not brought up to have agency; only to follow social expectations.
I agree; if we had been brought up to speak 'truth', then doing so would be less fearful to us because culturally it would not be seen as 'confrontational' but merely the way one normally communicates in that culture. As a Brit, I find Dutch people speak much more 'directly' (truthfully, to the point) which sometimes takes me by surprise - but I also find it refreshing and one can deal with things much more efficiently.
Regarding loving the truth enough to defend it, this relates to how much one is convinced one knows the truth - I tend to keep an open mind and see others' points of view. I guess I am viewed as rather wishy-washy. But I do have certain limits (personal truths, boundaries) which I have had to defend in the past, no matter what the cost - and would do so again.
I agree that one can debate opinions - and there's not much point in doing so - so one might as well be pragmatic and try and make the world a better place. That's what we try to do here with food-growing, and a new initiative for a community café where surplus produce can be exchanged or sold or given away - trying to promote the circular economy. I suppose I am saying 'actions speak louder than words'.
I'm too small and stupid to know the answers. Instead, I float as a death leaf in the storm, fighting not to drown, aware of the climate, the planet I lived. It doesn't matter anyway, I am already dead, since they ripped me from my tree when I was born, my existence han already ended. Who cares anymore what I do? Who can judge me for my fight to prolong this agony? There is no cowardice in trying to float, nor in letting youself drown.
It's just doesn't matter.
Answers to Follow-up Questions for
Quotes 2 and 3:
People tend to rather die slowly in the false comfort of convenient inertia,
than face the fear of death in facing up to, and transcending the real discomfort of truth that changes things, and shifts the unknowns.
Such deadly laziness dooms us all.
With respect to questions two and three. My comment is about the interplay between the significance and importance of both. Considering #3, the question is not trivial . Taking or not taking a requisite affirmative action can be fatal. It is critically important to consider a delay is wise or merely giving in to cowardice. Experience, wisdom, and accurate assessment of the required and available resources are necessary to achieve a favorable outcome. It is in the assessment that truth is required and cowardice may conveniently enter the picture. By the way, the assessment phase is where recklessness may be a convenient option. Only truth or “dumb luck” can lead to success. However, past experience either too rosy or dark may lead to a fatal assessment. Intuition may thus fail. There are few absolute knowns, especially at critical moments. Continual reflection and reassessment of the interplay of these two questions is the answer that comes to mind.
I think that distrust of others is a big factor in refraining from telling the truth. Also, fear of being judged or ostracized, of hurting someone's feelings, of creating conflict.
Generally, I speak truthfully, but I rarely share all of my thoughts.
Q1. Self betrayal is working against my conviction, losing purpose. I don’t believe in a greater good that justifies any means. For nothing is a pleonasm actually
Q2. What is truth? As a Christian, what Jesus said is true. But for many others, He was a lie. So am I God to speak the truth? Would it be received as such? These are more essential than fear, being honest, etc.
Q3. I don’t know what I don’t know. I lie without knowing it. I tell the truth that people don’t care or don’t want to hear. So cowardice is not a main concern but lack of wisdom
Q.2 Why do humans find it so challenging to speak the truth? Is the difficulty rooted in fear of confrontation, a lack of self-awareness, or societal expectations, and how do these factors interact?
I suggest, the difficulty of speaking the truth is rooted in all three of the above, and more. However, it is the way these factors are related and interact that makes speaking the truth, challenging. Underneath whatever difficulty, there is a common denominator ie. fear. Fear for self, of self-exposure, actual danger, vulnerability, personal shame, embarrassment, fear for another etc etc.
Knowing oneself, discerning personal truth, owning one’s fears, overcoming fears for self as they arise, is the underlying challenge to confidence; speaking the truth.
I have read Crime and Punishment just last year in fact. One of my all time favourite novels
1)
the quite implies that it's possible to destroy yourself and betray yourself for SOMETHING and so it may seem possible to do this for a good cause but I don't think this is the point. to betray yourself is to betray your values, morals, ethics etc. It is to walk a different talk. You can always feel that. always. the hardest part is listening to it and changing direction or course. temptation to do otherwise is alluring. but you won't be at peace with yourself
2)
Because the truth hurts. it's also a judge. honesty is virtuous, but you must be able to be honest in a gentle way. unless of course you are dealing with someone who is abrupt themselves. and ultimately honesty is a reflection of the truth. or at least "a truth".
3)
both I think
I think our hesitation is measured by both. It's a balancing act, a weighing up, a measurement. It takes time to patter that out in life. through trial and error you will find yourself choosing one of the two... eventually you grow and you end up hesitating at different junctures and going forward with the truth at others.
I think if there are repercussions for others in telling truth is something to be measured and cautious with. if there are repercussions for yourself then it's a moral question for yourself. stagnation will only come about when you choose nothing
The hardest thing, to be honest and truthful is just because in extremis it’s excruciatingly painful, but I for one feel purged afterwards. Flattery when it comes forth tastes of bile. On the receiving end it’s just sad and disappointing. Despite the dopamine hit.
Quote 3 Answer: People do fear taking action and speaking up. It's the fear of the unknown, being timid to step out into the abyss.
Not me. I'm not afraid to speak my mind. I just speak my mind and take action in a prudent manner.
When the situation calls for it though, I do step out into the abyss and letting what may come, come.
I’ve been reading this amazing newsletter for a year now and the format of quote-question is beautiful
Thanks…